Monday, October 20, 2008

Reptile Mischief and other Randomness

Somewhere out there in the Cosmic Administration Office is the signup sheet for "Cute Animals You Would Like to Live in Your Backyard." And because, not unlike today, I was having an allergy-ridden swollen-eyelidded sneezefest when the memo came out, I failed to sign up for "precious bunnies" and "darling dragonflies."

I got what was left over, and it turns out that was "snakes." Yeah. Woo Hoo. Pardon me while I take a moment out to Not Celebrate.

DH and his group of buddies disposed of a dozen the day they poured the cement in the side yard last month. That's right, I said a DOZEN. This is approximately 13 too many snakes in my yard. I don't CARE that they love all the rock-gardeny goodness, nor the semi-arid climate-y attraction of slithering blithely along in the afternoon sun IN MY YARD.

Well, as I said, the guys disposed of them. With great glee, candidly. Snakes were flying up and over the back fence with alarming frequency that day (much to the chagrin of a pedestrian down on the path at one point). And as pouring the cement eliminated a lot of weeds (yeah, I know, expensive weed control, cement is, but hey, it's long-lasting!) we figured that was the end of THAT little party.

Unfortunately snakes' psyches are a bit too durable for my taste (let me assure you with haste and no wavering that when I say taste I am in no way referring to taste BUDS but rather to preferences of a general sort, as I have absolutely and unequivocably NO desire to investigate the old chestnut about snakes tasting like chicken). There have been several sightings since, including about 5 more fence-flinging frenzies this past weekend. And just this afternoon I was holding the new handrail for the new steps in place so David could fasten it down, and sure enough, another hardy reptilian soul was stretched out in the sun on one of the flower beds (dear reader, kindly use the term "flower" bed with Very Low Expectations in the accuracy area of your mind - perhaps "Plant Growing Area would be a more apt descriptor).

The sad thing is that out of respect for me and my girlie squeamishness, my husband didn't squish it with a post, so it hightailed it (I know, I know, work with me here) under the deck. Where it lurks. And waits.

Other than the fact that I can no longer go out into my backyard, recent life has been relatively uneventful. We took a nice drive in the hills yesterday, then came home and cooked hot dogs over the very suburban gas firepit, LOL. No end to our willingness to "rough it..."


DanisDelusions said...

You know...there is one downfall to Google Reader. I may be able to read all your entertaining posts. But if I hadn't come here directly, I would never have seen how gorgeous your page is now! Oh, and btw...sign up for the darn contest. You might have fun.

Anonymous said...

Was mortified to read about the snakes being tossed around. I like snakes, they're really neat little (or large) creatures. Don't stress about the one under your porch, it's really just looking for a quite space where it won't be bothered.

Miss Chris said...

My thoughts:
A: Your new blog look is fabulous!
B: Bunnies are precious, but dragonflies creep me out so they are not so darling
C: I appreciate the pro-snake stance of your ASPCA anonymous commenter. However, your husband can just keep chucking those suckers far, far away! I hate snakes.
D:Your story gave me major heebie jeebies and I will be unable to sleep until I know that the horrid snake did the right thing and revealed its scaly self so that it can be flung over the fence with its friends.

Julie (It is.) said...

Apparently you don't get credit for flinging rather than squishing :) Oh well. I can live with it!

Hummie said...


Okay, SO maybe I won't be coming to your house for a bit of wine and chocolate.

Scraps of Candy said...

I am with David, I say squish it! (My agologies to snake lovers, but they REALLY freak me out). Do you know what kind they are?

PamWhit said...

Julie, you always make my day! I love reading your posts and the fact that you can write intelligently!! That's so uncommon these days.

Annette said...

OMG. You crack me up! I thought I would check out your blog and (no surprise here) I'm not disappointed. First I read your explanation of julieitis and now this. Have you thought about a career in writing? I may have to make sure I visit the bathroom before I visit your blog next!